Independence Day
by Laughing
Summary: Robin and Cal are in Speedos, Promise is keeping secrets from Niko, and nothing is as it should be. Craziness ensues!
1. Chapter 1

"Tofu is harmless, not painful, and I am not a freak for making either of you eat it, so turn off the music and put on your Speedos. Now."

Let's back up a bit…

All I'd wanted was a quiet Fourth of July. No fireworks, no parties, just me and Nik, watching Charlie's Angels and drinking beer. No Robin, no Promise, no work. Unfortunately, all of those things seem to follow us around. It was that morning, before Niko had to go teach some karate kids about the art of making tea or whatever, when I got a call from Promise. Let me inflect—when _I_ got a call from Promise. Not when Niko got a call from Promise, when _I _got a call fromPromise.

"Cal, if you're with Niko, go into another room. I don't want him to know that I called you."

"Uh…" I glanced up at my brother, who was only a few feet away from me, scrambling eggs and sipping wheatgrass slime. "Hang on." I got up from the table and made my way to the door, careful not to look back to see Niko's questioning eyes following me. Once I was in the hall I said, "Okay, I'm alone. What's going on, Promise?"

"I have a problem. Of a rather sensitive nature. Can you meet me?" Her voice sounded strained, which wasn't common for my brother's blood-sucking lover.

"I guess, but, Promise, why didn't you call Niko?"

"Because I have a problem of a rather sensitive nature. This is something that I'd like to keep between you and me. Could you just meet me at the coffee shop on Eighth in half an hour? Please," she added, and I sighed.

"Niko's gonna want to know where I'm going," I said.

"I know, and I would never ask you to lie to him, except that discretion is of the utmost importance right now. I'll explain everything in person."'

My stomach twisted. Niko and I didn't lie to each other, and we didn't keep secrets, either. But I knew that Promise wouldn't ask for anything if it wasn't her last resort. "Fine," I said. "But he's going to know that something's up."

"Tell him that there is a bat in Delilah's apartment and that she needs you to catch it. I'll see you in thirty minutes."

"Promise, he's going to know that that's not true. Delilah would just eat the bat, I'm pretty sure."

"Of course he'll know you're lying, but he'll think it's so you can go have sex," she snapped. "Twenty-nine minutes, Cal."

She hung up, and I slid my phone into my pocket. This would be interesting.

When I got to the kitchen, Niko was pouring a second glass of wheatgrass juice and putting it by my plate.

"There's no way I'm drinking that, Cyrano," I said, sitting down.

"It's nutritious and delicious," he said.

I raised an eyebrow. "Well, you're half right, anyway."

"It'll grow hair on your chest," he said, inching the glass a little closer to me.

"I'm good, thanks," I said, pushing it back.

He let it go, which surprised me until I noticed the tofausage on my plate and saw that he had bigger fish to fry. "You've outdone yourself," I said, poking at it with my fork.

"Who was on the phone?" he asked, taking a disturbingly big bite of imitation meat.

"Delilah," I lied, hating myself. "Apparently there's a bat in her bathroom, and she wanted me to…go catch it."

"Catch it?" Niko's lips twitched.

"Yes." I took a bit of tofausage so that I could look away. It crumbled in my mouth and tasted like feet. I put down my fork. "And as tasty as this is, I should probably head over there."

"One more bite," he said, just to patronize me, but I humored him because I felt guilty. I even washed it down with pureed wheatgrass.

I made a face and started for the door.

"Wait," he said and I froze. He knew I was lying.

Slowly, I turned to face him. "What?"

"Do you…have everything you need? To catch a bat?"

I scratched the back of my neck and went with Promise's sex story. "Niko, you do know that there's not actually a bat, right?"

Niko rolled his eyes. "Cal. Do you have everything you need to _catch a bat_?"

I cocked my head to one side, not understanding. Niko sighed and went into his bedroom. Maybe he had a polygraph test in there.

When he reappeared, it was not a polygraph test that he was shoving into my hands. It was a condom.

"_Oh_…" I said, tucking it into my pocket. And then, "Ow!" I rubbed the back of my head.

"Cal, you know better. You cannot afford to be careless in this area, by any means. I know that Delilah says she isn't able to bear children, but you can _never_ be too cautious. I thought we'd covered this."

"Yeah, no, we have. Extensively. Thanks. See ya," I turned to try to go again before he found a banana, but was stopped by a hand on my sleeve.

"Maybe we'll have a quick recap," he said.

"No, Niko, I'm sorry. I had one in my wallet the whole time, I just didn't know what you were talking about. Honest." That _was_ true, but the notion that I had had any intention of using said condom today was not.

He let me go. "Be safe," he said firmly.

"I will be," I promised, and walked out the door before anything else could happen.

I arrived at the coffee shop fifteen minutes later to find Promise and a cup of coffee already waiting for me at a secluded table in the corner. "You owe me for one near safe sex lecture," I said in way of greeting.

"I will owe you for much more than that by the time this is over. Sit."

"Wow, you look…kind of awful." She did. There were bags under her bloodshot eyes, her clothes were wrinkled, and her usually immaculate hair was down and unbrushed. "What's going on?"

"Three days ago was the anniversary of the death of my last husband," she said, sweeping a crumb from the tablecloth. "And I went to pay my respects at his grave. This isn't something I do often, but I was very fond of this man, and I wanted to be sure that the grounds were well taken care of."

That was the first time I'd heard Promise speak of any of her many ex-husbands, but I wasn't surprised that she visited his grave. Promise cared for people much more than she appeared to sometimes, and I knew that that was one of the reasons Niko liked her. "Okay…" I said.

"He was there."

"Who?"

"Vincent. My ex-husband. He was leaning against the tombstone, waiting for me."

I stared at her. "Am I missing something?"

"It was a ghost, Cal. He looked real, but I knew what it was. And what it wants."

"What does it want?"

She looked down. "To…defend my honor."

I raised my eyebrows. "And what does that mean?"

"He wants to kill Niko."


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, so yeah, four months passed, and I finally updated. I've been busy. Hopefully, though, the next update will be much quicker.

* * *

Niko got home early, before I had to leave for the bar. I closed the window I had been using on the computer and sat up straighter as he walked in. I had to lie to him now.

Niko folded his jacket over the back of the kitchen chair and removed his shoes. He glanced up at me, probably surprised by my silence, and gave me an appraising stare.

"Did you do something?" he asked.

"No." Lie. "Actually, I was just thinking that it's been, like, two weeks since we ran into anything nasty. Our ass-kicking quota for the month is not going to be met at this pace."

"So you want to go looking for trouble?"

He didn't sound convinced, so I reverted to logic that he couldn't refuse. "I just want to make sure I stay in practice. In case, you know." That was pretty low, dragging the Auphe into my lie, but I knew it would work.

I could see Niko's protective brother guard go up. "Did something happen, Cal?" he asked in a voice that promised death if I was in danger and hadn't told him.

"No," I said quickly, then gave my story credibility. "I just had another dream last night, and it threw me a little." I shrugged, then sold it. "Forget it. I'm just being paranoid."

Niko stood. "Move the furniture," he ordered. "We'll spar until you have to leave for work, then I'll meet you at closing and we'll head to Central Park." If I had been telling the truth, and I really was feeling restless and unprepared, I would have been grateful for the way he made it sound like I was being lazy and that the use of his no-arguments tone was necessary. As it was, I just felt worse about it since he was being so understanding. He was going to be furious if he ever found out what Promise had told me at breakfast. She'd said that Vincent felt he had unfinished business, and that she should say goodbye to her boyfriend. Promise warned me to be on the lookout for signs of ghosts, and assured me that she would take care of Vincent. In the meantime, I was to say nothing to Niko, for fear of her wrath.

***************************************

When 3 AM rolled in, I was dragging. Niko had not cut me an ounce of slack during our sparring session, and I guess I'd asked for it. I let out an audible groan when I caught sight of him. Ishiah glanced up at the sound.

"Problem?" he asked, pointedly eyeing a spot I'd missed when wiping down the bar.

I nodded up at Niko and ran my rag over the sticky mess again.

"Nik, I'm all better now. Why don't we just go home?" I said, sending him a pleading look.

Niko didn't even answer. He raised one eyebrow and leaned against the wall to wait for me to finish.

"Shit," I muttered and tucked the bar rag into my pocket. "Ish? I'm clocking out."

Ishiah grunted in reply and flipped the lights off. He followed Nik and I out and locked the door behind us. "Don't be late tomorrow," Ish said, then stalked off into the alley, to wherever it was that he spent the night.

"Why were you late you late to work?"

I glared at my brother. "Because it took my twenty minutes to hobble from the subway to the bar."

"They're less than a block apart."

"I know. So let's just go home. The only ass that's going to be kicked tonight is mine, unless the revenant we find has _two_ older brothers who decided to make hamburger out of him earlier today."

Niko gave me a reproving look. "Don't you think it's possible that you'll someday need to fight while you're actually already injured?"

"Yeah, been there, done that. Adrenaline takes care of it. Tonight, I feel no adrenaline. Only pain. Please, Nik?"

"Don't whine," was his only reply.

I groaned and forced my feet to move one in front of the other, until we made it to the train. I followed Niko and collapsed against his shoulder in relief when I realized we were taking the one that went in the opposite direction of Central Park, towards home. "You're the best brother ever, Niko. Don't let anyone tell you different. Good night." I closed my eyes.

Niko let out an exasperated sigh. "Cal, if you're going to let your guard down that quickly, without even a glance to your surroundings, then maybe you don't deserve a break."

I opened my eyes. "Sorry." I straightened and looked around. A young mother with a sleeping baby sat across from us, and a fragile-looking man who had to be at least a hundred and ten was sitting at the front. Other than that, we were alone. "Okay," I said, "so do you want to be in charge of keeping an eye on Grandpa up there, or Nanny McPhearson?"

Niko snorted and placed an arm around my shoulders, giving me permission to relax. "Just don't fall asleep."

No matter how exhausted I was, that was easy to obey. As long as this ghost ex-husband of Promise's was still around, I wouldn't be sleeping. And, as my stomach twinged with guilt, as long I was lying to Niko, I doubted I would get any rest at all.


End file.
